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Today's author spotlight is on Deborah Reber author of a number of self-help books for young girls including In Their Shoes which we covered at Ypulse not too long ago.

Not only does Deborah inspire a tangible feeling of, "I can do this and it's going to be okay," she offers many helpful tools and advice for the unique challenges stressed-out teens face today. In Chill: Stress-Reducing Techniques for a More Peaceful You, Deborah attempts to conquer the monster we all live with and does so with confidence, warmth and a sense of calm. Not only are there blurbs from a variety of cool successful women describing how they deal with everyday stress, there are useful exercises for readers to think about and design their own MO for "chilling".

As a grown woman with many years of stress under my belt, so to speak. I found her insight and advice right on the money. I may not be applying to college, but I did find my front door wide open and my three year old son across the street in the neighbor's driveway this morning. I took Chill's wisdom to heart: Don't freak, there's nothing I can do now. Deep Breath. Put things in perspective. (I'm happy he's curious.) Felt grateful he wasn't hit by a car. Called My Mom. Called a friend. Made a plan to buy a deadbolt today. Ahhh I feel so much better. This is work we can all do, teen and adults alike.

We spoke to Deborah Reber about her new book earlier this week and now we want to hear from you too. The first three commenters to share how they keep stress under control will receive a free copy of Chill: Stress Reducing Techniques for a More Balanced You.

Ypulse Books: Why did you write Chill: Stress Reducing Techniques for a More Balanced Peaceful You?

Deborah Reber: The seed of the book idea actually came from Michelle Nagler, an incredible editor, formerly at Simon Pulse, who I got to know while writing my book In Their Shoes. Michelle told me that Pulse was interested in publishing a book on stress reduction for teens, and asked if I'd be up for writing it. I jumped at the opportunity — in my eyes it was the chance to write the ultimate self-help book for today's generation of teen girls. Since being overly stressed affects every aspect of our well-being — emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual — in Chill I was able to provide young women with important strategies for caring for all of those areas which, for a girl advocate like me, was a dream. Working with Simon Pulse again and their incredible editorial and design staff was an added bonus. I knew the book would look great and get into the hands of the girls who need it.

YPB: You talk about a variety of things that stress teen girls out. In your research was there one thing that stood out as the most stressful for the most girls?

DR: Hands down, challenges revolving around friendships and social life were the top causes of stress. Pressure to excel in academics and sports was a close second, as was the stress girls place on themselves to fit in and/or achieve a certain physical ideal. But it was the friendship anxiety that cut across nearly all girls, no matter their age, ethnicity, or economic background. In many ways, it's the same sort of drama we faced as teens — group fights, backstabbing friends, unrequited crushes, who's going to prom with who, competition, and so on — but at the same time, it looks different.

YPB: Do you think teen girls today have more stress than they had in past generations?

DR: Definitely. Of course, there's a lot of stress that we as adults can relate to because we experienced it on some level when we were adolescents. But the landscape for today's teens is so different and the pace of life so accelerated, that the overall result is a generation of extremely stressed-out teens. For example, consider the current climate for high school students looking to go to their dream college. This generation is so huge (and a number of colleges are admitting fewer students) that competition for admissions is unprecedented. So students schedule too many accelerated classes, load up on a ton of extracurriculars, and volunteer their free time away in an effort to beef up their "resumes." (I know I didn't have a resume when I was in high school in the 80's). Plus, tuition is so high that college graduates are coming out of school with an incredible debt to pay off, and high schoolers know this is the case. And the academic scene is just one part of the equation. Compound that with things like growing up in the midst of a technological revolution, having instant access to information, facing a bleak environmental future, and growing up in a post-9/11 world, and it's clear that this generation is seriously stressed out…the likes of which we may not have seen before.

YPB: How much and/or what elements in our culture play into the amount of stress teens experience in their lives today?

DR: When I answer this question, I actually first think back to my own precarious existence as a high school and college student…going to parties, drinking, and frankly, often making an idiot out of myself. You know that feeling of waking up the morning after a night out and sensing you did something really stupid the night before? Ten years ago, you'd have waited a day or two for the embarrassment to fade and you could go on mostly unaffected by whatever foolish thing you may have done. Today? Making a simple mistake can spiral out of control in no time. The morning after any party, a picture of you doing something embarrassing, regretful…even possibly illegal, could've been emailed to thousands of people, been posted on Facebook…maybe even gotten you expelled from school. The truth is, this generation of teens is playing out their lives in a world where there really are no communication boundaries. Who you are and how you live your life is essentially accessible to everyone, and when you're a teen trying to figure out your self-identify, that's obviously not ideal. This places an incredible amount of pressure on teens to not screw up, since screwing up can have such serious consequences on the rest of their lives. (A bummer too, since isn't screwing up how we learn the tough lessons and grow as people?)

YPB: If you could ensure that girls who read Chill get one message, what would it be?

DR: I would want girls to know that they are in control of their own experience. There's nothing worse than feeling like life is just about dealing with whatever gets thrown at us. It's this type of belief system that's at the root of much of society's angst and inability to find balance. But the truth is, we create our own experience by the way we choose think about the things that happen to us. If girls could read this book and feel a little more in control of their destiny and be empowered to know they can handle whatever comes their way (even the most stressful or uncomfortable aspects of being a teen), then I would be one happy author.

YPB: What can we do to help? Any advice for teachers, mentors, and parents of teen girls who are stressed-out?

DR: First, acknowledge that today's teens have it difficult. Yes, they may be a generation of young people who are on the surface incredibly empowered and confident, but this doesn't mean that their pressures aren't intense or real. Understand that today's teens, no matter how much they seem to have it together, are drowning in stress and they may not actually know how to swim. Second, listen. Try to tune in to what's happening in the lives of teen girls and be aware of when things might be way off-balance. In many cases, parents may not realize the pressure they are placing on their children in an attempt to help them excel and be successful. So I recommend parents of teen girls make an effort to regularly check-in with their daughters and see where they're at–ask them if they're feeling overcommitted, overscheduled, overwhelmed. Teachers and mentors can do the same thing. Lastly, share. As adults, we often have great tools we've learned over the years–knowing when to take a day off, learning when and how to say 'no,' identifying the things we need in our lives to create balance. Share these nuggets of wisdom with the teens in your life freely and support them in whatever way you can.

YPB: Deborah, Thanks so much for such thorough responses — and thanks for Chill. One things for sure, you seem to really care about teenagers and personally that makes me relax a little.

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