I was driving home yesterday listening to NPR's All Things Considered when they ran a short piece from Youth Radio on the number one hit single "I Kissed A Girl." The piece features different teens reacting to the pop song and its message:
I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chap stick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it
Of course with Lindsay and Samantha, lesbian teen characters on "The O.C.," "South of Nowhere," "girl kissers" (even better Youth Radio commentary) have been anointed a trend (New York Times, reg. required).
Sexual experimentation with someone of the same sex is certainly not new -- though my sense is that it was always more of a college phenomenon (I remember lots of talk about being "bi-curious" in college) vs. high school until more recently. While there is definitely more tolerance of girls kissing girls (especially if they are both gorgeous and stay with their boyfriends) than boys kissing boys (though the ratings spike after the teen male characters locked lips on "As The World Turns" challenges this notion), I do think the openness to this sort of experimentation at a younger age speaks to bigger cultural shifts such as:
- The average marriage age continuing to inch up -- 26 for women and 27 for men. The notion of having a high school sweetheart feels dated to many teens -- why be tied down? Instead, boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, there's more "hanging out" in groups and hooking up with friends as a way to experiment/indulge adolescent sexual desire.
- The level of LGBT visibility has increased (along with tolerance) -- Ellen kicked open the door, followed by Will & Grace and more recently Tila Tequila and some of the teen shows I mentioned earlier. This generation is more tolerant overall, and we see this in research on their attitudes towards issues like gay marriage. [from Pew's Gen Next Report: "They also lead the way in their support for gay marriage and acceptance of interracial dating."]
- "Porn normal" or the mainstreaming of porn. Girls kissing girls for the benefit of boys has long been a staple of porn -- I believe that we see this reflected in the images some teen girls have posted on MySpace or other sites imitating porn-like poses in an attempt to look "sexy." Porn's creep into pop culture and is defining what "sexy" is for lots of young girls.
I think Sophia Chakos-Leiby from Youth Radio really hit on a key issue when she said:
Bottom line, while the women of our generation may be more experimental with sex - or simply more open about experimentation - we still have a long way to go until we look past gender, see a person, and fall in love.
What's your take on girl kissers?
P.S. This song kind of reminds me (content wise) of the Divinyls one hit wonder -- "I touch myself" in terms of pushing out a taboo into the mainstream. She Bop, too, but I'm not sure how many people really knew what that song was about.
Posted by anastasia
Marketing | Music
Comments
I've been catching this song a lot on satellite radio and man is it contagious! It just makes you want to dance!
As far as girls kissing, it certainly has become a bit of a trend lately hasn't it? I don't have an issue with girls loving girls; and experimentation is a necessary part of life. But now, it's getting harder to tell the difference between girls experimenting out of natural curiosity and girls who are just doing it because guys think it's sexy or because it's trendy. In a way, it sort of trivializes the plight of the kids who really are questioning their sexuality or struggling with the task of coming out to a resistant family.
Or could this make it easier for them? I'm not sure. Interested to hear other views.
Posted by: Mommy B | July 9, 2008 12:19 PM
Great job nailing the key points on this one. Especially the culture and where they define 'sexy'. Which you could also say means 'attention'.
The one thing I tend to run into is that with Gay Marriage most teens say it's fine as long as 'they' don't bother me. Which infers a prejudice.
In addition to that if you get into a deeper discussion regarding the topic they tend to change their mind.
Posted by: Tommy2 | July 9, 2008 12:33 PM
i think, very much so, that the normalizing of girl/girl experimentation is the result of the porn industry's effect on society.
great article.
Posted by: Adam Lehman | July 9, 2008 2:12 PM
I do think it's a combination of all of these things. For some girls, it's show and spectacle. For others, it's just not a big deal. For others it's a real true passion which may be for just one specific girl, for both girls and guys, or potentially just for girls. (I say potentially because I thought I had read that girls tend to come out at later ages than guys and at this point they might not have all the answers. I could be wrong on this.)
I think Paige on Degrassi is a good example of this. She truly had feelings for Alex and while Alex later identified as a lesbian, Paige was kind of like, guy/girl whatever.
I do think girls kissing to attract male attention is a negative thing, but the teens who look at sexuality as more fluid than gay and straight is definitely a positive thing.
Posted by: Keri | July 9, 2008 5:24 PM
great post. I just wonder if it's the teens ahead of the media or the media (or pop culture, take your pick) pushing it more and the teens pick up on it and of course think it's normal. I don't think we'll ever know the exact answer to that. but I'd love to hear some speculation.
Posted by: faith | July 9, 2008 5:35 PM
How radical is this ... think of "Willie and the Hand Jive," or "Shake, Rattle and Roll," which contained the pretty overt sexual refernece: "I'm like a one-eyed cat peepin' in a seafood store."
Though that wasn't the line Bill Haily felt complelled to change ... he changed "Well, you wear low dresses, the sun comes shining through" to "Wearin' those dresses, your hair done up so nice" ...
Even "In the Mood" was considered overly sexual when it came out.
I remember in the 1960s, when I was a kid, one of my church-going peers being oftened by a song where a girl talked about being "hot," and "baby, you light my fire" was really over the top.
Posted by: Howard Owens | July 9, 2008 8:50 PM
i like the beat and stuff but the words r a lil weird
Posted by: Bria | July 10, 2008 9:54 AM
Grace and Peace,
Good evening YPulse friends,
As a middle-school boy in St. Louis ( circa 1957 ) I loved Paul Anka.
In "Diana" he sung " I'm so young and you're so old . . " and this seemed to affirm my connection as a 13-year old with a woman about 20 who " picked my cherry " and was a regular ( weekly ) element of my life for about 10 months.
But, in another song Paul sang " put your head on my shoulder ". And I would dream of my head on a guy's shoulder or a guy's head on mine .. and it took another nine years for me to figure out that this wasn't " just a phase ".
Music has much to teach us, if only we can understand.
Be well,
Michael B. Music, I.M.D.
(415) 431-1905
Posted by: Michael B. Music, I.M.D. | July 13, 2008 9:36 PM